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Literature Text
I ripped my heart wide open three days early.
If I could mend the void I created I would.
Needle and thread for the soul—this is
The remedy I yearn for.
Three days into twenty they asked me, “What’s wrong?”
Am I transparent as glass?
Can you read off the pages?
Five days past nineteen, I have given up.
Not eating, not sleeping, and empty of love.
Had I just held on three whole days till I met him, then everything would be different.
If I could mend the void I created I would.
Needle and thread for the soul—this is
The remedy I yearn for.
Three days into twenty they asked me, “What’s wrong?”
Am I transparent as glass?
Can you read off the pages?
Five days past nineteen, I have given up.
Not eating, not sleeping, and empty of love.
Had I just held on three whole days till I met him, then everything would be different.
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Sometimes we as human beings make dumb decisions. Worse, we find ourselves stuck in it, unable or unwilling to crawl away and seek better fortunes. I am as guilty as anyone else is, even being the "perfect" or "innocent" girl some brag on me as being. I've got a terrible sailor's tongue, and it spits out quicker than I can stop it, several times a day on a good day. Bad days are shameful. This is among many of my new "struggles" that the Lord has surely put in my life to see how I will handle them. Admittedly, I am doing a terrible job--but I realize that on my own strength, I can't do a thing right. I am slowly learning to depend on Him for my needs, and not my weak and wounded self.
I am seeking healing. That's where this is coming from. If I could I would turn back the clock and change my fate--hah, just like on Brave. Anyways. This is nothing special and more of a one-sided conversation with myself, instead of a deviation. But it's my first deviation of the year, I think. That's something!
In an offhanded way G is sort of like my birthday present. I met him (well, met him and remembered him) six days after turning 20. And I am seven weeks away from 21!
I am seeking healing. That's where this is coming from. If I could I would turn back the clock and change my fate--hah, just like on Brave. Anyways. This is nothing special and more of a one-sided conversation with myself, instead of a deviation. But it's my first deviation of the year, I think. That's something!
In an offhanded way G is sort of like my birthday present. I met him (well, met him and remembered him) six days after turning 20. And I am seven weeks away from 21!
© 2015 - 2024 sceneecupcake
Comments6
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I agree with the previous commenter, the opening line is fantastic!
I find it wonderful that you're open about your struggles and flaws, and moreso that you openly admit that God is the only one who can fix all that. Many, many people are not brave enough (see what I did there?? Brave? haha) to admit any of that to themselves, let alone anyone else. While you're flawed just as the rest of us are, you're strong for admitting that you need God in your life, and He will make you into the woman that you want and need to be.![Bunny Emoji-38 (Cutie) [V2]](https://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/036/e/3/bunny_emoji_38__cutie___v2__by_jerikuto-d7567fu.gif)
Hearing you talk about this and post about this a lot has been a big inspiration in my life, and has made me want to strive to have a better relationship with God too. My flaws are different, but they are indeed apparent, and are in need of fixing. Hearing your story relieves me and reminds me that I'm not alone in my struggles, and that God is never far away. Thank you for continuing to be an inspiration in my life, Sarah.![Bunny Emoji-42 (Awww) [V2]](https://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/055/d/7/bunny_emoji_42__awww___v2__by_jerikuto-d778loq.gif)
Love you!!
I find it wonderful that you're open about your struggles and flaws, and moreso that you openly admit that God is the only one who can fix all that. Many, many people are not brave enough (see what I did there?? Brave? haha) to admit any of that to themselves, let alone anyone else. While you're flawed just as the rest of us are, you're strong for admitting that you need God in your life, and He will make you into the woman that you want and need to be.
Hearing you talk about this and post about this a lot has been a big inspiration in my life, and has made me want to strive to have a better relationship with God too. My flaws are different, but they are indeed apparent, and are in need of fixing. Hearing your story relieves me and reminds me that I'm not alone in my struggles, and that God is never far away. Thank you for continuing to be an inspiration in my life, Sarah.
Love you!!